confessions of a neurotic wanderlust

documenting this awesome thing called life

i am letting you go January 25, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — joykablogs @ 10:08 am

Yes 2012, I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU.

2012: whuuutt?? you talking to me? this is so last year, Joy!
Joy: I know I’m 25 days too late, but I just realized that I have not formally bade you goodbye albeit I have already welcomed 2013
2012: Fine, fine. Go ahead, have a blast!

Thank you 2012. You were such a badass year. And you were badass in EVERY sense of the word. You almost killed my soul last February, revived me by March only to suck my soul and wit out of me once again by August. Relentless badass year you were, my friend. But still I thank you for all the travels I made, goals I have achieved, new friends I gained and old friendships rekindled. But best of all, THANK YOU for the wonderful blessing that you have given me before you ended my year. It got me all cray cray at first but still I have to admit that it’s THE BEST gift any person could ever receive. From then on, I knew I will always be loved and will never, ever be alone.</

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and so i failed you again

Filed under: Uncategorized — joykablogs @ 9:40 am

I saw your email. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to tell that you are disappointed and mad to say the least. Yet, for someone who know you like I do, I know that what you feel for me is beyond disappointment. And I can’t find any word to describe it.

I have failed, hurt and disappointed you once again. I have dug too deep a hole in the friendship, I’m sure I’m never climbing back up.

I DO have a reason why I wasn’t there when I say I would. Remember the SMS I sent you December-ish of 2011? It was the same reason. But at the back of my head, I know that no matter how I put it, I will still disappoint you so I chose not to say anything.

I know that you’re also mad because I didn’t say anything, not a word. But you know the feeling when you have already come to terms with your stupidity and have admitted to yourself that you’re wrong, you just choose to be quiet because no words would ever repair it anyway? That’s how I felt, so I stayed quiet.

I know you’re mad and disappointed. That is why I kept quiet. In the history of our friendship, we have tried and tested this formula a number of times and somehow it has worked then we get back to being friends again after time has magically healed all hurts.

Somehow, that was what I was hoping for. However, I know the gravity of what I have done. And by that thoughtless move, I may have lost you and your friendship forever.

Over the years, I seem to have developed the propensity to lose the people that’s worth keeping and held on to people that’s worth letting go. I know that. And I also know that they next move is still on me.

For all it’s worth (although it may not mean anything to you anymore), I’m so sorry.

 

What’s in a name January 16, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — joykablogs @ 10:02 am

When I was a pre-schooler, I seriously begged my mom to have my name changed. It was too long making me always last in our writing exercises.

Come elementary, when the bullying and name calling age started, I again considered on making my mom change my name. I mean who wants to be called Orocan as a kid aside from the incessant Kulot-Salot? I swear those bullying days would have seriously scarred me for life, buti na lang mataas ang EQ ko nung bata!

During college application time, I once again wondered how my life would be easier if I were named differently. I swear, my nerves about entrance exams start as early as when I start filling out my name on those exam sheets’ name boxes. Not because I can’t spell my name, but because I’m too scared my name wouldn’t fit in the boxes provided! I remember literally airing that out as I wait to take the UPCAT exams. I was too scared na the reason I wouldn’t get in to UP was because I failed to provide my correct name information!

And basically the rest of my life, my name has been a challenge. Once people learn what my real name was, I would always get a barrage of questions as to why I was named such , what it meant and where the heck did my nickname come from.

I honestly believe that coming up with a name for your child is the first ultimate test of the kind of parent you will be. Will you be the nice parent to name your girl simply with something as quick and easy as KIM or be brutal and challenge her early on in life and name her Maria Regina Cristina Jenny Gale Manio Pili!

For my child, I will make sure that his/her name is not too common (Michelle, Brian, Jennifer, Carlo) , not spelled too complicated (khryzabhelle), not too trendy (Katy, Edward, Bella).

I want it simple, catchy and straightforward.

So world, this would be the possible name of my unborn children.. 

Boy:

Adonis. Horatio. Bartolome. Hagibis. Honorato.

Girl:

Irma. Sisa. Liwayway. Luningning.

Hahaha. I kid, I kid.

Note to my unborn child: Little one, I  was only kidding. That’s just your mom and her weird side acting up. Yes, she forgot to take her sanity pill today. I love you too much, I wouldn’t do that to you. And yes, I promise to give you an awesome name 🙂

 

Well well well, look do we have here! January 4, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — joykablogs @ 12:29 pm

Hello 2013!

People normally complain that time flies so fast that before our eyes knew it or even before we are ready for it, it’s Christmas once again, or we’re yet again another year older, or it’s the dreaded cough up your money and pay the bills time once again. It’s so fast that often times we find ourselves saying “sandali lang, dahan-dahan, mahina ang kalaban!”.

But i t wasn’t the case for me for 2012. Okay how do I say it. 2012 was brutal. It was ferocious, bordering on inhuman and just severely rough. Brutal. There were times when I thought I’ve hit rock bottom only to find myself yet again free-falling in a seemingly endless pit. Brutal. It was so bad I was literally praying to God begging for Him to fastforward 2012.

So when the clock struck 12 midnight of January 1, I was outside our house, jumping, screaming at the top of my lungs as if letting lose of all the bad vibes inside me. I have never welcomed a new year as much as I did this year.

Welcome 2013. Come to mama! I claim you. This shall be a good year!

 

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Lezdudiz!

Filed under: Uncategorized — joykablogs @ 10:56 am

So I’m writing once again. While going through my 2nd blog hiatus (I was also on a blog rut sometime 2010 I think), a number of people have messaged, called and approached me asking me to blog again. Although I would like to think they missed it because my blog was so fun and interesting to read, I know better that they are just bored and just wanted to have another website they can go to. USERS! hahaha!

calvin boring